In honor of Carrie’s Studio, Shanna's New Abode for Writing, Maureen's New Cottage for Writing, and after visiting Haven's Writing Barn, I am offering up this Dream I had:
Background Information: I always loved art as a child and would study on my own, but I went to a tiny church school with no art class. At this time in my family/community no one mentioned even the possibility of college . . . I thought when you graduated and/or turned 18, you were on your own.
So, after high School I worked full-time, moved in with an aunt in Texas, and then ran off and got married at 19. I kept painting, mostly watercolor and some acrylic, but not really knowing what I was doing. Got into the New Age movement . . . began to believe in my ‘gift’ and that it was part of my tautology.
After a divorce I enrolled in an Art Institute while still working full time.
One week before classes started I was in an accident and badly injured my back.
I met Donny (he was my physical therapist). We married and planned and started our family. The deal was, I would have art as a hobby and go to school when the kids reached pre-school age.
Above, 30 second gesture drawings from Drawing 101.
This dream (of returning to school) came true when I was 27/28. I started with a night drawing class . . . then before I started Painting 101 - I went shopping for art supplies.
choosing every tube of Galleria acrylic paint and each paintbrush with exceeding care and love . . .
I then had this dream while being part of a dream interpretation group.
FLOWER TRAIN.
I am on a swiftly moving SILVER BULLET train . . . we are flashing through landscapes and the train slows as we come around a bend. I peer out the window and see breathing, pulsing BRIGHT FLESH and CREAMY flowers of an unidentified species. They are singing and throbbing with color and life.
I reach down and pat the baby car seat which is sitting next to me on the train-bench. The 'baby' is wrapped in a beautiful crocheted (which I made) cobweb of rainbow beams . . . I lift the blanket to reveal -
the new glorious tubes of paint and carefully arranged paintbrushes. I cry in recognition.
THE END
Above, "Unveiled Sorrow" created in Painting 101 with Professor D. Anne Waters.
So - the point being that this dream is when I came to the realization that I needed to nurture and foster my ‘gift’ of creativity to the same extent that I nurtured and fostered my own children.
Our family, around the time of this dream . . .
Art is a part of me. I cannot give it away or neglect it.
I cannot tell you the all encompassing effect this realization/dream has had on my life. It was my license to be who I was born to be.
. . . and then came Claire.
Read MoreGet Out Of Your Own Way
After a short mourning of "My Vintage Soul" (see previous post for details) I have gotten back on the proverbial horse/bicycle.
Today I contemplated going back to bed at 8 a.m. (I went to sleep at 4:00 a.m. after playing Mahjong for 4 hours!), but instead I jerked myself directly from the front door as I waived good-bye to Claire and headed down the stairs.
Into the studio.
To look at the carcass:
After facing that . . . which felt very similar to viewing a newly dearly departed, I decided to work on some new techniques while I pondered what to do with the remains. My instinct was to trash it, cremate it, send it on to its just rewards - but that is hurt and anger surfacing and some of my best works have been pieces that went 'wrong' and I had to re-work them to salvage them. The only difference here is that it was finished to my great joy and I know any re-creation will be but a shadow of the original (such was my then state of mind).
I decided to rummage through all my new supplies and chose to work with some new RF Paintsticks. In the encaustic process I had been using, I would paint encaustic into the divots and distress marks and scrape the layers down. It is back-breaking and time consuming work. Can you imagine my delight when I was able to create this work within about 2 hours, start to finish, while simultaneously working on 4 others?
Let me introduce you to "Traces of Time", 6"x6", Encaustic, Handwritten letter, Leather/silver watch band.
As I sit here typing this title, it occurs to me that I dealt with the very thing I was mourning - my loss of TIME. Art is so amazing that way. You do not even know what you are seeking, but it forms itself before your very eyes if you get your ego and brain out of the way. Finally, after getting myself out of my own way, more works came forth.
"Run Away" 6"x6", Encaustsic, Vintage Fairy Tale pages, quickly followed the time-piece, and then came
"Descent"
So, if I would only listen to my own advice I would save myself A LOT of heartache, right?
I was excited to use some of the real butterfly wings Don and I had collected on our Lake Lure, NC 2006 vacation. We came upon hundreds of butterflies hovering over puddles and upon closer inspection realized there were dozens of drowned butterflies. Apparently some of their wings had become wet and weighed them down and they couldn't fly away. The living butterflies appeared to hover in a mournfulness of collective spirit.
Once again, my feelings are just bubbling up to be revealed in these new works . . . time, the need to 'run away', and mourning.
One benefit to all the years of collecting is that I have an amazing resource of materials on hand. To have them all, more or less, at my fingertips in the new studio is something I have never experienced before.
I NEEDED those butterfly wings TODAY, and because I had taken time to unpack and sort - I knew EXACTLY where they were - safely encapsulated in U2's "All That We Can't Leave Behind" CD case.
There are no coincidences. There is only synergy. The flow and flux as the energy transforms.
Consequently (or not)!, what I ended up with today was three new completed works and the energy to begin or re-begin some other works.
I now have all the butterfly wings dipped in encaustic and ready for the next 'calling', plus I infused multiple antique baby clothes for my textile version of "Ashes, Ashes", and, best of all, I found a technique that will increase my efficiency and save my body many aches and pains!
Somehow, in less than one week, I have decided that this self-destruction of "My Vintage Soul" contained many valuable lessons.
I am looking forward to using these new techniques and insights to create new, and, hopefully, better work in the future.
Don't forget:
"I get knocked down, but I get up again - you're never gonna keep me down!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAM9diIDHqs
Chumbawamba- Tubthumping
Here are a few images I took of the studio today - I am, apparently, back in action!
Real butterfly wings (found) dipped in encaustic.
Vintage baby dresses, in the process of being infused with encaustic.
Vintage Baby Robe, infused with encaustic, hardened, standing on its own.
One shelf of collected figurines/vintage toys for future use in assemblages.
Mid-process of encaustic infusion, antique embroidered pinafore with safety pins in pocket.
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