I'm Forty Saga

I'M FORTY SAGA: Written December 3, 2007

I admit it - I'm 40, this was hammered in today, when the evidence could no longer be ignored:


1. Woke up and drove 2 kids to school but have no memory of it until I was lost for 2 hours looking for the driver's license bureau (it moved, my license is expired, and THEY AREN'T OPEN ON MONDAY!) 

2.  I made 16 beeswax candles and attempted to begin about 20 paintings and 2 sculptures, but because I kept having to stop - I "FEEL" that I accomplished NOTHING today.   

3.  After picking the crippled, eldest child at school at 3 pm (yes I was 10 minutes late, sue me), yes he is fine, but on crutches (sans bus until Xmas . . .)   

4.  Back home, Squeezing in 1.5 hours of work in the FREEZING garage (yes, Don got me a heater, but it is still cold), and a guilty 20 minutes watching Dr. OZ on Oprah, (I gave up taping them because I never watch them) . . . I go to pick up Claire from Kindergarten (yes she gets out at 3, but LIKES to stay for after-school "play" time), had to go back in the house for:  a) KEYS (which I never take out of the van, what was that about?, b) COAT (40 degrees), and c) CELL PHONE (in case somebody calls to see the house which is for sale and I have to retrieve children, clean, and vacate in 30 minutes . . . you never know) . . . ok . . . so then absently leave said CELL PHONE in the car while I check Claire out (takes 10 minutes), and, we have no home phone right now because CHARTER cable is waiting 3 weeks to connect it . . .

(Claire with the beautiful flowers G'ma Shirley sent for my Birthday)


I get back in the car to see an unearthly blinking light emerging from my melted glass of diet coke (which I left from the AM/Driver's License debacle) . . . it was the CELLPHONE . . . ugh . . . I drowned it!!*&###@!@@@*.

5.  Home . . . feeling like Scarlett O'Hara, but more diminished than that . . . eat salad, boil spiral pasta, grill burgers . . . who cares, it doesn't go and isn't gourmet, but . . . my poor husband, so desperate for a wife/homemaker is ACTUALLY happy about this slop!!!! Ha!  He actually thanked me profusely . . . Hilarious!

6.   OH CHEER - my sister Susan has had a beautiful arrangement of flowers sent for my erstwhile birthday - aren't they pretty???  And isn't the cell phone intriguing with its innards revealed . . . more about this pic in a moment . . .

7.  At this point I become overwhelmed and go up for a timeout . . . (i.e., Mommy nap, even though it is 7 pm) . . . it lasts barely an hour . . . I optimistically run a bath, there are 4 humans in the house...what was I thinking??

8.  Look for cookbooks for a while (of course, the ones I want are in storage . . . the house is for sale remember, 1/2 our stuff is in storage units!) . . . so waste an hour looking at recipes on-line . . . 

9. Take the bath I ran 2 hours ago, yes, the water was cold . . . had to drain and refill . . . now I am an idiot 40 year-old AND an environmental criminal . . .

10. 11 pm - still can't get to sleep so get up and bake a cake . . . which I forgot to flour the pans before I poured the FROM SCRATCH batter . . . ugh, again . . . this time I realize I also forgot to add the milk, so this is good, NO???  Put the goo back in the blender, pour the milk on top and FLOOEY . . . it splatters EVERYWHERE . . . it is around 1 a.m., by the way . . . but I cleaned that up, the cakes are in the oven . . .    

11.  I DECIDE I DESERVE A MARGARITA . . . . . . and happily pour it in my vintage Holly Hobbie glass (which I purchased during an insomniac e-bay buying spree) . . . . and knock it over . . . guess where? ? ! . . . ON TOP OF THE DISMANTLED PHONE!!!!


On the bright side:

Pros to 40 - I got some awesome flowers, had a great day with my kids and hubby Sunday (and a Dippin' Dots cake - I don't advise, tasted ok, but is horrendous looking, the kids liked it!), good date with Don and Art Gallery Hopping with Art Friends on Saturday . . . looking forward to seeing friends next weekend . . .

It is good to be 40 . . . it is 2 a.m. now, the cake is only slightly burned, and DON has promised to take the kids to school in the morning . . . it doesn't get any better than that!

Here I am a few days later  - practicing blowing out the candles on my homemade, from scratch, Vincent Van Gogh, Starry Night, Action Figure Cake!  Yippee!

Shout-outs to: Donny (the hunky hubby); Bea Jurgensen & Julie Anderson (best friends in the world); Selena & Sean (more friends) and Larry Winslow for his friendship and musical talents/entertainment . . . yes, it was a small party, Lonnie - but it was great!  Cheers!